Minggu, 22 November 2015

Shattered Memories Part 1

Post ini bakal full of myself really. Post ini sangat maksa dan  mungkin ngebuat aku sendiri ga comfortable tapi then again ini harus really dikeluarin. Aku bener-bener ga ngeharepin orang-orang yang tau aku baca ini tapi misalnya kalian come  across this, Im sorry.  Dont  make me feel uncomfortable

Di tengah-tengah ke-hectic-an masa SMA kelas 3 di sebuah sekolah menengah negeriyang berada di Bandung yang entah kenapa selalu berbeda dengan sekolah lain, bersekolahlah seorang   anak kecil.

No  really, dia bukan anak kecil lagi dia udah 17 tahun dan punya SIM. Now this kid has a trust issue and a problem. Like every other kid. This kid know it, though so This kid try her best not  to go too big not her  issue. So, this kid try her best to solve this.

This kid cant remember her past so this kid cant remember how something feels like
This kid cant remember her past so this kid always fall for same mistake over and over
This kid is conceptual but doesnt understand the concept  of "missing"  or "friendship"
That's so confusing

This kid aware of it.
Really for 7 years of her life.
This kid aware that she cant really maintain a stable relation.

This kid is trying so hard you know.
This kid cant be herself in real life
She cant talk what she wanted to talk
because she find people find it weird
So this kid decided not to speak up

And that makes this kid feel different
This  kid see another people
Why can they do that
Why they can make such a bond
What does that feel?

This  kid is confuse
This kid doesnt know how to make a friend
Not a friend friend
But real friend
Not people who laugh at her
But people who can goes into deep conversation
This kid wanted to find someone to talk about so many things  in her head
Theory, Computer, Game, Feeling, People

But she doesnt find any
So this kid doesnt talk about it
People find that it doesnt  matter
But this kid is sensitive
This kid find that overwhelming
So this kid just talk what other people wanted to talk about
Never revealing herself